As some of you may or may not know the Commodore suffered a small hemorrhagic stroke about a week ago. Dutifully I hopped a plane to Portland to take care of things out this way. The only damage that occurred happened in his language center. His motor skills and logic centers are mercifully unaffected. The woman at the rehab place where he is (as he puts it) "incarcerated" says she is impressed with his recovery overall and his prognosis is good.
It is interesting to see in real time his brain try and re-route around the damage, while he searches for the word that he means and his brain replaces it with something that seems related. It is pretty fascinating really.
Of course this makes his already bizarre discourse all the more entertaining, if not more confusing. I have to explain to the staff frequently that he was "like this before the stroke."
So without further ado, direct quotes from the Commodore:
me: Dad what are you doing?
(while pulling a bottle from a panel in his desk) I am having a little gin.
me: Are you crazy, you can't have that!
no it's okay... it is after 3:00.
me: (walking in on him surfing porn) Dad!!! for the love of God please shut that off right now!
What? you don't want to watch this?
me: No, I really really don't!
Is it beause she isn't a natural blonde?
I still haven't gotten my stuff from the Veterans's administration, so I thought you could write your friend for me and ask him to help me out.
me: What friend are you referring to?
You know that guy you worked for and like so much, he has the good looking wife and kids...
me: Are you talking about President Obama?
You know I have a lot to offer a woman...
me: Like being feeble and verbose?
I am also very tall.
You know I still can't believe your mother went all "rogue" on me before she died.
me: Are you talking about her converting to Catholicism?
You know I watched the woman put the code in to shut alarm off for the front door (rehab) last night - I think I can make a break for it.
me: I don't understand why we have to drive all the way to the urologist's office when we can just pay this bill over the phone?
We HAVE to go there, you need to drive me right now!
me: But why? There is a phone number right here on the bill?
(yelling and shaking his fist) Don't you understand?! I am in love with the receptionist!
me: I thought you were in love with that woman at the dentist office.
oh yeah... well, I love her too.